What Worked This Year
by Tash Brooks
This was the year it almost felt impossible to see what was working.
Loss was so loud. Job loss. Relationship loss. Friendship loss. Plans dissolving. Identities shifting. Rooms I used to belong in, suddenly not mine. When loss is the main character, it can trick you into believing that nothing else is happening. It stands in the middle of the room and shouts. Grief is like that. It is heavy and honest and it fills your whole field of vision.
What worked this year did not come in big, Instagram worthy moments. It came in tiny, quiet moves that were easy to miss because they did not look dramatic. They looked like small shifts in the direction of myown life. When loss was the loudest, what worked looked small. But small did not mean insignificant. Small was actually groundbreaking.
What Worked This Year (Even When It Did Not Look Like It)
1. I did not go back to what was breaking me
There were moments this year when going back felt easier. Back to the job that drained me but made me feel important. Back to the relationship that hurt but felt familiar. Back to the friendships that required me to be smaller so things could stay comfortable.
I could have gone back, there were many times when I convinced myself to try to - for the kids, for me - who else would love me. But ultimately I left. Instead, I stayed in the discomfort of the in between. The hallway. The space after the ending and before the new beginning. I stayed in the ache instead of numbing out.
That choice did not look glamorous. It looked like Saturday mornings (most mornings) in sweatpants, crying in the car, awkward conversations, nights where I questioned everything.
Not going back was a quiet revolution and a necessary act of defiance for the future I deeply want.
2. I practiced boundaries, even if I did not always nail them
I did not become a boundary master this year. That’s okay. I have to start somewhere.
I said no when I usually say yes.
I didn’t respond to a texts immediately and let that be okay.
I did’t explain my every decision to people who are committed to misunderstanding me. Figuring that out may have been the hardest part.
Messy boundaries still worked better than no boundaries at all.
3. I let yourself feel instead of just cope
I could have numbed my way through this year completely. With work, with scrolling, with overcommitting, with caretaking everyone but myself. And yes, sometimes I did that. I are human and coping is part of how we survive. But there were also days I stopped and let the grief catch up. I cried. I raged. I admitted I was tired. Letting myself feel did not fix the circumstances. It did something more important. It kept me connected to myself and look at why I was here in the first place.
Feeling my feelings didn’t feel like it was “working”. In fact, sometimes it felt like I was breaking, but I know it’s a necessary part of it all.
4. I chose small, grounded habits instead of waiting for a perfect reset
I did not become a completely new person this year. I did not solve everything. I did not wake up at 5 a.m. every day and drink green juice and meditate for 45 minutes. I didn’t do a cleanse or start a new workout routine. It was in the micro moments. In the middle of my VERY real life, with two children and responsibilities, I chose very small things that helped.
Pause when I’m feeling reactive. I started studying Kabbalah with David Ghiyam and one of the greatest things I learned this year is “Pause, what a GIFT.”. This idea that every challenge is a spiritual upgrade opportunity and to use your triggers as your teachers. Take a step back, look at why you’re being reactive and see why you’re coming from a place of fear.
Putting my phone down at night and reading.
Drinking lots of water
Taking myself on a solo hike date to talk to God/Universe, cry - convene with my higher self.
Those tiny, seemingly insignificant choices really changed my life. They did not change everything in a day. They changed how you moved through the days.
5. I started to believe I are worth more than survival
Maybe the biggest thing that worked this year was not a habit or a decision. It was a slow, quiet shift in my own belief about myself and my ability to process my life and have it shape me into the person I want to become. I’m not here to merely survive but to grow and thrive and be ridiculously happy. That started by suspecting that not only do I deserve more, it’s realistic for me to expect more. More than crumbs. More than chaos. I did not fully arrive at unshakable confidence. That is not how this works. But I have started to catch glimpses of something new. That inner shift is not small. It is foundational. It is the groundwork for everything that comes next.
When loss was loud, these things looked like background noise. They were not. They were the blueprint for a different kind of life. The kind of life that defines my next chapter.
Writing Prompts: Finding What Worked When Loss Was Loud
Use these prompts to gently uncover what actually worked for you this year. Especially the small things. Especially the things you almost dismissed as nothing.
You can free write, make bullet points, record a voice note, or just think through them on a walk. There is no right way to do this.
1. When loss took the spotlight
What were the biggest losses or endings for me this year?
How did those losses color the way I told the story of my year?
If I look beneath the grief, where did I still show up for myself in small ways?
2. The tiny choices that were actually huge
What is one small decision I made that began to shift my life, even just a little?
(For example: sending an honest text, booking a consult, declining an invite, starting therapy, revising my resume.)At the time, did I recognize it as a big deal or did it feel insignificant? How do I see it now?
3. The ways I did not go back
Where did I resist going back to an old pattern, person, or situation that was familiar but harmful?
What did it cost me to hold that line? What did it protect in me?
If I had gone back, how would my year have looked different?
4. Soft strength
When did I let myself feel something this year instead of numbing out?
What feeling did I finally admit: anger, grief, jealousy, loneliness, exhaustion, relief?
How did allowing myself to feel change my next step or my decisions, even slightly?
5. Relationship check
Who showed up for me when things fell apart? What did they do or say that worked?
Where did I show up for myself in a way I have not before?
Did any relationship become more honest or more real, even if it got messier for a while?
6. Nervous system wins
What helped my body feel even a little bit safer this year?
Think about routines, places, people, practices.What did I stop tolerating physically or emotionally that I used to push through?
Is there one small thing I did for my own wellbeing that I want to thank myself for?
7. Evidence that I am growing
If someone who loves me had watched my life this year, what would they say I handled differently or better than before?
Where did I choose self respect over self betrayal, even once?
What is one sentence that describes how I grew this year on the inside, regardless of what the outside looked like?
Closing Practice: Naming What Worked
Try this short exercise to end your reflection:
Write the sentence:
“This year, even in the middle of loss, what worked was…”
Finish it without editing yourself. Let it be real and specific.
Don’t forget, you’re not alone. We’re in this life together>
With love, always,
Tash